How long will my divorce take and how much will it cost?

These are the most common questions when someone wants to get a divorce. The legal process can take up to a year. Some of that is within your control, most is not. The following are suggestions to help you keep your costs down, your stress reduced and your children out of the middle:

• Don’t argue. It is very hard not to get caught up in the old “button-pushing” behavior with your spouse. It wasn’t productive during the marriage and won’t be productive now. Stay focused on the end goal and keep the arguments off the table. 
• Set your goals. Let your attorney know what you want to come out of the process with. Be with your attorney to make sure you have realistic expectations regarding those goals. It is more expensive to run two households than one. Child support is set by the state. Budgets must be accurate.  
• Find a good support system. This is a very sad and trying time in your life. A good friend and/therapist is vital during this time. Your attorney does care about your feelings, but is more concerned about the facts in your case. A good therapist or clergy or support group is better suited to helping you with your emotional issues. And a lot cheaper! 
• Consider mediation. Very often the parties can sit down with a mediator and resolve many of the issues.Some attorneys will sit down without mediators and negotiate a property settlement with their clients.  It depends on the parties, the issues and the lawyers.  

No one wins in a divorce or in a custody battle.   Absent extenuating circumstances, Judges in the larger Nebraska communities generally find that it is in the best interest of a child to have equal relationship with both parents.  Even where one parent has sole physical custody, the Judges often deviate from the established standard visitation in Nebraska of every other weekend and one night a week for the non-custodial parent. As a result, unless the other parent is a danger to the child, you will both continue to be involved in the child's life... even if there is a stepparent or other relationship you do not approve of.

As for property settlements, no one wins. Period. When the Judge makes a decision, both spouses generally end up feeling like they lost. Your attorney can usually advise you of the general decisions Judges make in divorce trials, and what results you are likely to expect if your case goes to trial.